Once again, there's actually a plot here to go through, so hold tight. The movie opens with Shaquille O'Neal and Dr. Phil trapped in a worn out bathroom like the one in Saw. The focus of the scene is how bad O'Neal is at free throws, and if that joke's not an antique, I don't know what is. Cut to Charlie Sheen's cameo, in which he jumps to his death from his apartment window while Cindy Campbell (Anna Faris) watches on. Cindy takes on a job as a caretaker for an old woman in a creepy house complete with the ghost of a young boy. Next door, Tom Ryan (Craig Bierko) just finished working at the docks and is about to watch his kids for the weekend. He accidentally pegs Cindy with a baseball, and there's an attraction. Cindy's a bit timid about it after her previous husband died in a boxing match (a la Million Dollar Baby), and Mike Tyson biting off someone's ear is so dated it's still not funny. Meanwhile there's a weird machine that looks like an iPod but has the option to destroy humanity under the '80s mix playlist (I told you those things are a tool of the devil or at least one of his minions).