Considering the billion-dollar empire they have created for themselves and their widespread success in the direct-to-video market, it is bizarre that 17-year-old twins Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen haven't had a theatrically released feature film since 1995's winning It Takes Two. They had nine years to find just the right next project. They should have looked harder. New York Minute, directed by Dennie Gordon (2003's What a Girl Wants), wastes the talents of an eclectic cast in a terminally lame teen comedy with a grade-school mentality. While it is true that the bulk of the Olsen's fanbase are probably preteens, the Olsen's themselves are simply too old now to be participating in such childish, dim-witted antics as New York Minute has to offer.